My Loving "User Guide" (or Route Planner) for Engaging my Professional Expertise
Dismantling body oppression in all its forms, including diet culture, is such important work. Thank you for your passion, wisdom and ongoing healing. It is no small feat to continually check our privilege, examine internalized bias, shame and oppression and cultivate embodied wellbeing while navigating a world in which bias, shaming and discrimination are rampant and we’re constantly assaulted with the dominant performative narrative.
I love that you are engaging with me and the content I contribute to different platforms, and that you consider me as part of your community. Having our people as we do this work is so important, as is radical self-care.
Part of that self-care for me is choosing carefully the spaces and ways in which I offer my energy, knowledge, experience and emotional energy, so I can take time off to rest, replenish, be with loved ones, continue my own healing work and learn from those who inspire me in closed learning environments where we get to do brave work together. (If you are my teacher, co-learner, and kin in arms in these closed learning spaces, thank you!) In order to do this, I have certain boundaries that are attuned and responsive to my needs and at the same time honor my values. Think of it as my loving "User Guide" or route planner for engaging my professional expertise.
As you probably know, I offer content in a variety of platforms, both in English and Spanish. These include my personal Facebook account, professional Facebook page, websites and blogs (Fiercely Embodied, Mindful Eating Mexico, HAES Mexico), journal and blog interviews, guest blogs and podcast interviews. I also participate in discussions in different online forums, such as The Mindful Dietitian and Health at Every Size Therapists and Nutritionists Facebook groups.
To engage more closely with me, here’s my guide to get me showing up at my very best - aka in radical presence, full attention, fierce kindness and generosity.
Spaces in which we can have a closer interaction:
1. Invite me to be a guest on your podcast or summit – we can have in depth discussions, enjoy each other's presence and (my favorite bit) spread the word having others listen in our our conversation.
2. Invite me to speak, teach a Masterclass, or facilitate a workshop at your event / for your audience.
3. Schedule a session with me or hire me to be your coach or mentor. A great place to start is a Heartful Wisdom Consulting Session or a Mini-Session. Although they are usually set up for individuals, if you have a small group you’d like me to offer coaching or mentoring to, contact me.
All of these pre-scheduled spaces will allow me to offer you (and your audience, if this is the case) the radical presence and full attention you deserve. Also, I deeply value your commitment to offer fair compensation to me. This lets me know you see and honor the time and resources I’ve invested in my training and personal healing, and the energy and emotional labor involved in this work. It also contributes to my sustenance and a sustainable professional practice doing what I am most passionate about. As a bonus, your generosity allows me to continue to offer equity pricing to marginalized people in Mexico and in migrant communities in the US.
Topics I can address / discuss in these spaces include:
Orientation or mentoring about how to incorporate elements of mindful eating, Body Trust®, Health at Every Size® or any related topic in your personal life or professional practice;
My experience with any/all of the trainings and certifications I’ve participated in and/or my opinion about which one of these may suit your needs;
Anything pertaining to my professional knowledge or experience - including my personal healing journey and how that intersects with the work I do - beyond what I freely and publicly share in my platforms.
Please feel free to take a look at my full website for a more comprehensive list of the topics we can explore in more depth.
At the moment, I am not able to respond to media inquiries for interviews without financial compensation, thank you for understanding. Please feel free to quote from any of my previous blog posts, interviews or podcasts, attributing credit and linking to my site.
Now, I would like to also share with you...
My list of “Please don’t”s
When you do any of the following things, I experience stress, exhaustion and frustration – which I then need to go work on and take care of before I can again engage with the world. Also, you won’t get a reply, which I get is not what you were looking for, and totally unrewarding.
Send me friend requests on Facebook if you are actively promoting weight loss or other forms of body oppression. If you are awakening to the harm this does and are seeking to transition to a practice that promotes social justice and liberation, including weight neutral and weight inclusive approaches, I will be happy to offer you my professional guidance. Please schedule a session, hire me as your coach, subscribe to my newsletter, follow my professional Facebook page or even my personal Facebook account (no need to "Friend" me - when you follow me you'll see all of my public posts around these topics).
Ask for my opinion about a scientific paper, blog article or topic related to anything pertaining to health, body politics, intersectional feminism or social justice outside of coaching or mentoring work we are doing together. I very much appreciate you sharing stuff you think I might be interested about – and love getting emails or tags along the lines of “Hey, I found this interesting / inspiring and thought you might too”. I also appreciate your understanding that I might not get to it immediately. I may – or may not – send a quick thank you note, or reach out sometime to ask you if you’re interested in having a conversation about it (it goes without saying I will respect it if you’re not). If you’re keen on me reviewing something as part of the work we’re doing together, we can either do it during session or I can add the time invested to your next invoice.
Share the things that horrify or trigger you and cannot believe exist (either in the world or in the realm of social media) or tag me on Facebook on one of these things. I love that you feel a kinship with me and that my platforms feel like a beautiful escape from the soul crushing horror and injustice of diet culture and other forms of body oppression. I get that you might want your indignation and righteous anger validated, or that you may feel the need to have someone who will fight with you. However, stigmatizing images and messages are hurtful. I am highly sensitive, and I deliberately keep the spaces I spend time in outside of work free of them so as not to burn out. If you would like me to offer suggestions about how to deal with this, enact energetic boundaries, and/or fight back in any way or form (including drafting blog posts, replies or open letters or planning activities that promote liberation), please schedule a session where we can come up with the best choices for you. (Thank you to Susan Williams from The Mindful Dietitian for your inspiration in drafting this paragraph).
Also, a note on social network’s algorithms and amplifying the reach and power of the BS and harmful content circulating out there. When you re-post those horrifying things, tag other people on them and/or engage in online debates with trolls more people (starting with the ones you tagged) then get that content showing up on their notifications or walls, and you are feeding the algorithm that makes said horrifying and oppressive BS more visible. Like my dear and wise friend Kimberly Weiss says: “Something I ask myself is, Is my sharing and promoting this helping it be seen by more eyes? Diet culture and other body oppression BS is enraging, and part of how I like to combat it is by not sharing the pieces and images that further promote it.”
Thank you so much for your understanding and support of the healthy and radically embodied boundary work we all need to do to stay grounded and strong as we do this challenging work.
About the author
Lilia Graue is a physician, psychotherapist, consultant and teacher. She works with brave humans to counter performative health, among other oppressive discourses, to do the compassionate healing work necessary to collectively create a culture of body justice and liberation, so that we may all become Fiercely Embodied.